The Indignities of Air Travel

When I asked Chad to tell me a funny story last night this is what he produced and it is a doozy if you know Chad at all. My husband is a calm, rational, non-confrontational man, that is, until you tap into his pit of righteous indignation. Then you get lawyer Chad, and then you see why he charges hundreds of dollars and hour.

To appreciate this story you must also appreciate Chad's love of the Dunkin Donuts. It remains a mystery to me how a boy raised in the land where granola and sprouts on a sandwich were invented can love nothing but food fried and/or covered in gravy. I am convinced that this and this alone is why we continue to live in the Midwest, where everything is friend and covered in mayonnaise. You must also understand that Madison has no Dunkin Donuts, a very bitter pill for Chad to swallow along with the fact that we are in the Midwest, yet there is no Sonic. But, i digress.

So Chad gets to the airport, goes through security with his one enormous carry on and realizes (cue the angels' choir) that there is a Dunkin Donuts. He buys a super-size coffee, because he is going to try and make this coffee last all the way to Madison, apparently, and boards the plane. This coffee is hot, because, apparently, Dunkin Donuts is trying to keep it hot all the way to Madison, and so Chad has not yet had a sip of said enormous coffee. He sits and is promptly informed by the regional carrier stewardess with a power trip that he can not have any beverages in his hand during take off and she will have to confiscate his coffee. This is where Chad dips into his business-traveller flight rage and and tries to challenge the veracity of said air-traffic regulation. He tells me that at one point she physically put her hand on the coffee and he snatched it away. This is where I start rolling with laughter at the thought of my mild-mannered husband fighting to the death for a coffee that was probably bigger than his head. Long story short she allowed him to "stow it with his carry on" ie put it at his feet while the flight took off. Because I am sure it is much less likely to spill that way.

Chad says it was the best damn coffee he ever drank. I told him he was lucky that she didn't throw his ass of the plane.