I Have Seen Evil

and it's name is Polly Pockets. Olivia had a play date yesterday with her very lovely, girly, calm and delicate best friend who owns the most evil toys in the whole world. Ellie own things like porcelain tea sets and doll house with million of small pieces that give me small heart attacks every time my daughter goes anywhere near them. However, nothing compares to these ridiculous Polly Pockets. There are literally miniature dolls the size of your index finger and they have little clothes and little accessories that are impossible to take on and off. Now, Ellie's mother may be fine with this because her daughter can dress a doll once and be happy. Not my kid. In Olivia's mind the whole point of having six outfits is to put them all on, preferably all at once. Anyone who has ever seen Olivia dress herself has seen this in action, layers of everything from tights to a shirt over a pajama top, skirt over jeans. Luckily, we live in a place where hippies go to die so I can pass this absurdity off as boho-chic.

So here I am, struggling to put on these little tiny clothes that require the fine motor skills of a watchmaker and are just about as delicate. Needless to say, at the silent auction last night where my choices were a basket full of My Little Ponies and Polly Pockets and a kid sized chair and a giant floor puzzle, Olivia is now the proud owner of a giant world map puzzle. Part of me knows that by denying her the Polly Pockets that I am only digging myself a miniature grave made of plastic shoes the size of a pin head, yet that does not stop me from shoving equally absurd things like giant world map puzzles down her throat. I will happily clear my entire living room of furniture so assemble a puzzle larger than my child as long as i never again have to exhaust myself thinking about how in the world I am going to get a hideous pink, plastic glitter dress on something so small I could flush it down the toilet.