Because I love Brad more than I hate these lists

So I am in the shit house with Brad and I sympathize because I do a little whimper when I go to his page and it hasn't been updated so I will do his little list to make it up to him. The rest of you can just move on down to the new pics of the kid.

A-Attached or single? Attached, seriously? Is that the best A word you can come up with? So many better one, aardvarks, yea or nay? Asshole, who is the biggest one you know? i would even accept favorite variety of apple over attached. If you are reading my list you know that i am married.

B-Best friend? Best friend, question mark? Does this give you the option to not have a best friend? If so, who is the sad sack making one of these lists who has no best friend? Me, I am my own best friend. Though I guess I have to say Chad or I'll be in the shit house with him too. It'll be like Hilary Swank when she didn't thank Chad Lowe. And we see how that all ended.

C-Cake or pie? Normally I would object to being forced to rank desserts because they are all beautiful in my eyes, but here I have to come down on the side of cake. I do not enjoy jelled fruits or fruit that is hot, which eliminates most pies. But if it was a battle between like Key Lime Pie, which I love, and Black Forest Cake, which contains the artificial cherries I would choose pie. See so arbitrary.

D-Day of choice? What does that even mean? Halloween is my favorite day of the year, but it appears that most people doing this list are choosing days of the week in which case I would choose Thursday. I feel this one is open to interpretation so I choose Halloween.

Essential item? Toothbrush. This may be why I am on anti-anxiety medication, but I lose it if I can't brush my teeth first thing.

F-Favorite color? Whatever color we finally decide on for our counter tops will be my favorite color of all time because choosing those has been like giving freaking birth.

G-Gummy bears or worms?-I generally try to avoid all things gummy, unless it is those fruit slices, yum.

H-Hometown? I suppose I have to claim the entire Northern Chicago suburbs as my hometown.

I-Indulgences? Sleeping in, reading a good book, buying coffee.

J-January or July? This is a no win. January is post-holiday winter let down and July is a mosquito-infested, humidity laden sweat-fest here in the lovely Midwest.

K-Kids? What about them? You want mine?

L-Life isn't complete without? Chad is now insisting after above best friend comment that i put him here.

M-Marriage date? May 10, 1999. That's right kids, I was married in the nineties.

N-Number of brothers and sisters? One of each, though I would roll them and their incessant texting into any giveaway package.

O-Oranges or apples? I hate that white pith that you can never quite seem to get off of oranges so apples.

P-Phobias or fears?-I have claustrophobia that extends even to tight clothing. It's the fat man in a little suit syndrome.

Q-Quote? " You are the best mama ever." This is usually because I have made cookies.

R-Reason to smile? When that jackass that has been riding your ass for miles gets pulled over by the cops.

S-Season of choice? Fall for sure, we only have one good season.

T-Tag? I should make Brad do this stupid thing twice.

U-Unknown fact about me? I have a blog which serves to do nothing but make all facts about me known so this is a toughie. While I do know how to square dance, as well as work a stripper pole, I think I have to go with the fact that I cannot ride a bike. I must qualify, I can ride a bike, but I cannot stop the bike without falling off.

V-Vegetable? No thank you. Though, I do love peas.

W-Worst habit? Other than my constant negativity and crass language? Definitely, I would have to say brushing my teeth while I walk around the house. It makes Chad crazy.

X-Ray or Ultrasound? Anyone who has had to drink two liters of liquid and then be denied the opportunity to use the bathroom would never choose ultrasound.

Y-Your favorite food? This is like Solomon and the baby splitting! i can't do it, can't do it.

Z-Zebra or horse? Is there like a zebrose, kind of like a liger?