All that zen meditation crap sure comes in handy when you are considering infanticide

Ok, so my blogging has not improved. To be fair, it is not just my blogging that has suffered, but there is an entire week of world events and Britney gossip that have passed me by as I attempt to make it through my days with my child. Oh yes, it has gotten that bad.

If I think about it carefully, Chad and I experience bizzarro Olivia about once a year. Bizzarro Olivia is evil incarnate. Tantrum throwing, sleep striking, stubborn refusal to do anything she does not want to do, evil incarnate. This stage can last an indeterminate amount of time, but in the past, no more than a month and then she returns to the child we know and love. But every year she gets smarter and bigger, and well, more arbitrary. The only way to deal with bizzarro Olivia is a complete, uniform crackdown of discipline that I would compare to putting up hurricane shutters. Chad and I both need to be on board, at the top of our game and do seamless tag-teaming otherwise you hit total burnout.

So this is what I have been doing, patiently sitting outside her room repeating in even tones, whatever it is that I am trying to get accomplished. For instance, "Spitting toothpaste is my face is not appropriate. When you can calm down and apologize you may come out." To which I hear a shrieking reply from the other side of the door that usually sounds something like this,"No, I want to spit toothpaste, let me out, let me ooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttt!" This goes on for an average of about forty minutes. Generally it spirals to a list of life's unfair principals and ends with her wanting a new family. It is amazing how much more energy it takes to remain calm than it does to totally freak out. Thank goodness I am comfortably Celaxed.