Update

Well, Olivia has strep throat and Chad has the stomach flu and I have . . . nothing! An on and off runny nose and some fatigue which is probably from the amount of laundry I have been doing. Since my top 10 list of what I bring to fly was so popular I decided to do a top ten list of how I keep myself healthy in the midst of a highly contagious family.

1) Be really determined not to get sick-Last year was Olivia's first year in school and we were sick all winter, literally. It got to the point where if someone so much as sneezed I would burst into tears because it would mean weeks before whatever virus would cycle through all three of us. So far this Fall Olivia has had a double ear infection and strep. I had a bizarre 24 hour thing and that's it. You have to commit to the regimen because that is what works, last year I thought it was too much to do the regimen. I was wrong, being sick was way worse.

2) Be well stocked-I was caught a little off guard this year because it was still so warm it seemed too early for everyone to start getting sick. In my arsenal: Lysol wipes, floor disinfectant, unscented laundry soap and dryer sheets, paper towels, videos and new books (I actually have a box in the basement that I only pull out for sick days) and chicken stock. You can vary the drinks by illness, but I consider apple juice the go to because it is good for stomach stuff and colds.

3) Rubber gloves-My friends and family laugh that this is extreme, but when you are cleaning up vomit, dirty tissues, germ-covered glasses and all manner of infected items you better be wearing gloves. You can't wash your hands well enough to be germ free, people! That being said. . .

4) Wash hands-Not yours, you are wearing gloves, wash your kid and your husband's hands, constantly. If they are drinking or eating in bed, periodically have them get up and wash. If their hand is near their face they are putting germs all over your linens and remote control.

5) Clean your remote control-and everything else. I actually put myself in my husband's shoes today and wiped down everything he touched from his alarm clock to his razor to the fridge handle. I do this twice a day. Viruses are live things that mutate throughout the day, what he was infected with this morning will have changed into something else by the time he comes home. Everything down to sheets and pillows gets it. Quarantine them. I try to keep them in one room as much as possible. It makes it easier on me.

6) Airborne- I actually have no idea what is in this stuff or why it is so expensive, but it works. I was turned onto it by my friend Brittany who is a medical resident and swears by it. I gave it to the preschool teachers for Christmas last year and they were ecstatic. It may not prevent you from getting, whatever, but it definitely lessens the severity by quite a substantial amount. Heat it into a tea, it is much more tolerable.

7) Be a great big bitch, with a lot of empathy-It sucks to be sick and at this point in my life there are very few garden variety illnesses that I haven't had several times. Bland diets suck, sore throats suck, but that doesn't mean you get to sneak toast when you are on a liquid diet. Willpower must be provided to people who haven't eaten for days and no longer have any of their own, by force if necessary.

8) Be the first appointment with your doctor-If that means you call back twice and pretend like you were disconnected the first time because the first time around you didn't get the nurse who you know will hook you up, then that's what you do. You are also the first appointment so that your doctor still feels like she can spend time chatting with you. Also, make sure you doctor and the PA are part of the lesbian posse.

Be prepared at your appointment. I expect that my doctor know Olivia's medical history, she expects that I know exactly what she ate, when, her temps for the last 48 hours, her sleep patterns, everything. If you have a lot going on, write it down along with all medications your kid is on. It is your responsibility to give your doctor a complete picture so she can make an accurate diagnosis. That way when things go wrong and you need to make a nasty phone call you know your bases are covered.

9) Dress your kid cute-You would not believe what you can score with a sick kid in pink polka dotted tights. I know I don't have an appointment, but can I get swabbed for strep too?

10) Give it up a little- I spend a lot of time when Olivia is sick trying to make sure that she doesn't spend the whole day in front of the tv, which is a noble thing. However, as my husband pointed out to me, what do I want to do when I am sick? Whatever I damn well please, I am sick! All concessions should be made to please me and only me because I am afflicted with whatever HORRIBLE illness. So when she wants to read, and she eventually will, or color, or whatever, drop everything and do it with her. Until then, turn on the damn video.

The Golden Rule should apply at its upmost when your family is ill. Remember, they are going to get sick, you are eventually going to get something off the grocery cart. You can only hope that they remember how good you were and reciprocate.