Everything I Needed To Know I Learned By Having A Garage Sale

1) I am never, ever buying anything again for fear that I will have to re-sell it in a garage sale. The past two days has completely reinforced my dual theories that consumerism is the root of all evil and that I am not even sorting through my father-in-law's stuff after he dies it is all just going away to the Salvation Army.

Not only does all the work involved in physically setting up a garage sale suck, but watching the alarming amount of crap people will buy is down-right disturbing. That said, my neighbor has an awesome vintage metal lunch box that I must have.

2) There are some crazy freaking people out there and i always run into them when I am alone.

This goes back to the whole portrait of Americana from Newsing with Oldies. It's a real slice of life to see who is available for garage saling at 2:00 on a Thursday. I had a Panera employee give me day old bread in exchange for discount on books, just so he wasn't screwing with karma by taking the discount. Oh yeah, those people-live here.

3) It is sometimes worth a few dollars to retain a positive view of humanity.

My husband, my neighbor and I all watched an elderly woman shoplift from our garage sale today. At first we gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was just forgetting to pay for the item that she walked away with, but when my husband tried to gently remind her that she had it, she totally made a run for it. We let her go, choosing to believe that it was a misunderstanding.

4) I can talk about the weather for 16 hours and still smile everytime I say, "No, I can't remember the last time it was this hot."

Seriously, no one, not one, failed to comment about how hot it was. Which leads to. . .

5) Even if you are doing nothing but sitting in a deck chair 90 degrees if really freaking hot.

I have heat rash on my feet. I am covered in so many layers of sunscreen that I think that I can be certified non-stick and Aquafina should change their name to Liz in honor of all I have done for them.

When all is said and done (though not really done we still have one day left) the past two days have been an exhausting way to see the impermanence of objects in our lives, the value they have to you and others and all the pitfalls of putting your personal self on display for the world to see. Garage sale: Consumerist microcosm.