Excuse Me But There Is An Old Lady Doing Coke In The Bathroom

So yesterday we got the call that the cabinets were arriving five days early so Chad and i did some quick calculations and realized that we were going to be working our asses off round the clock to make it so our brand new cabinets weren't sitting in our garage for weeks. We had already made dinner reservations with some friends and hired a sitter so we decided to go for the gusto and do dinner AND a movie since we may never be able to anything except work on our kitchen ever again.

Our nice dinner was a fixed menu so with my meal I received salad nicoise. Yummy, except for the fact that after I had Olivia I developed an allergy to tuna. So I picked the tuna off, thinking I was in the good. I was wrong. Ten minutes before stepping into the movie I start to break out in hives. It is here where I make the calculated decision that I do not give a shit I am going to see Batman if it means Chad has to do an emergency tracheotomy with a drinking straw. Christian Bale is hot.

So I go into the movie theatre bathroom start splashing water on my face, hands, arms etc to quell the itching, sniffling like a madwoman. Also, I am constantly pursing my lips, which are starting to swell, to keep from scratching them. It is at this juncture that I notice that the bathroom vending machine has Advil which will at least slow the inflammation so I start fumbling for change, dropping half of it in my fervor to get ibuprofen in my body. While I am on the floor desperately trying to pick up pennies that I can't see because my eyes are watering I see four sets of Payless ballet flats stopped cold and I look up from the floor to see four teenage beauty queens staring at me in horror and disgust thinking that they are finally face to face with the crack addicts that they had only seen on tv. A twitching, scratching, sniffling woman on the floor scrambling for change to get her fix from the bathroom vending machine. I figured that ranting to them about being allergic to tuna was only going to fuel that fantasy, so i let them go out into the lobby and immediately huddle with their boyfriends and call their mothers and say, "I SWEAR TO GOD, Mom i think she was so high that she was eating popcorn off the bathroom floor."

The movie was pretty awesome though.