Domestic Violence

i made the mistake of getting undressed in front of a mirror today and happened to catch a glimpse of the, like, nine thousand bruises and scratches on body. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not much. So I think, what have i been doing? oh right, "playing" with my rough-housing three year-old. I have lost count of the number of times I have used the phrase, "Mommy is not a jungle gym!" I tell you, i deserve hazard pay.

A Positive Spin

i spend so much time bitching about bad parents I wanted to say that i saw a good one today. So to the dad at the children's museum who charged his daughter $600 for her pretend pizza because she was 6, good for you. Your kids were eating it up and you had twice the energy of the moms (myself included) who were only showing half-assed enthusiam for their kids' pretend concoctions.

Funny Moms

I also wanted to send a post out to my friend Rachel who is super fun because she is just like me. Regular mom that enjoys getting together with, well, me and talking about mom stuff. But in her secret life she is actually hilarious and deserves a blog dedicated to her one liners-which are beyond compare. Last week she boasted that she could turn anything into a muffin and this week she offered her feminine wiles to try and get my husband to impregnate me. While they may not sound funny here, she deserves the post because I am laughing just thinking about it.

Don't let it go to your head, Rachel. I'm the only monkey with a blog here, until Chip makes a way better one.

Angie Went and Got Herself Knocked Up

Now that she has finally announced it on her blog I can say that Angie is having a baby!!! It releases me from the secrecy state that i have been living in and allows me to tell complete strangers, I think. Which I plan on doing tomorrow, just for fun. I think Angie and Mike will soon fear my excitement for all things their baby so i have to get my blog posts in while I can.

Congrats guys for bringing one more smart mouth into this world.

The Best Part Of Vaca

Ever since we had a great trip out to Philly a few years back for Brittany's med school graduation, Chad and I have discovered the secret to vacation success. One vacation day at home. Up until this vacation, we had always maximized the vacation destination time. We flew back on Sunday nights and went to work Monday morning. Now we always leave one day before going back to work, but not a day to clean or do laundry or any of that junk. We plan one vacation day at home to do fun things here in Madison. Today we chose to do all unhurried things. Leisurely breakfast out, walk through campus and let Olivia touch whatever and dawdle as long as she wanted, while Chad read the paper to me aloud. We sat by lake, ate lunch on tv trays (why olivia loves that so much I will never understand) and baked cupcakes. Tonight is the last Mallards game of the season and it is bittersweet.

Sometimes i think that our hurried lives are okay because it makes the unhurried ones that much sweeter.

A State Without Denial

So we had out first up north vacation this weekend, which has apparently, inducted us into true Wisconsin resident status. I never realized that vacationing in the northern part of the state was such a big deal, but from what we gathered talking to other vacationers (ie conference attendees) is that it is an affront to the local economy that Chad and I don't have a cabin in the woods or a timeshare in Door County. It was beautiful and relaxing for Olivia and I, poor Chad worked and, well, worked.

What I found most striking about this vacation was all the little things that you do in your life and house that you are suddenly willing to let go on vacation. I am talking about little things like not making your bed, but also some fundamental things like how you set the air-conditioning. At home, it is an iron-clad dictatorship and I keep down the sweating, begging masses with an eighty degree thermostat. Partially, so that if i ever meet Al Gore I have something to put out there, but also because it is part of my stay-at-home regimen of guilt about not making any money, therefore I must keep all expenses as low as possible. Well, Al is probably sending me YouTube clips of the melting polar ice caps as we speak because we had that AC on so cold i wore as sweater inside. We left lights on, I threw nothing in the recycling bin, I used every towel in the joint and, yes, I ate red meat and drank caffeine like there was no tomorrow. I let Olivia eat french fries and potato chips and fudge.

It was startling to me all the little things that you deny yourself in normal life, all the things that you force yourself to do because you know it is the right thing. In the end, though, I was more relaxed coming home and turning down the AC and starting back to order. I had coffee today, but I don't think I'll eat another sweet for about a week. We get two weeks at home now so that Chad can go to trial, then it is back on the road for the Magical Mystery Tour of Horrors in strange beds and putting even more miles on the car. Can't wait.

The TV Is Making Your Baby Stupid

Seriously, what parent didn't know this? Wait until they are older and use tv effectively to get them to stop moving-all-the-time.

Thanks to Rachel, who obviously did not use these videos and enjoys mocking the parents who did as much as I do.