Lake Affected

And It Was Still Hot

2009-10-16T11:48:00.002-06:00

I totally wish that I was going to see Where The Wild Things Are tonight but i have been following the various blogs over the past few months and it is making me feel a little better. This was the first book that I bought for Olivia (along with the famous Olivia series) and Olivia had it memorized before she was nine months old. She would wave goodbye to Max along with the wild things and it is the one moment that i never got on video and that makes me sad. Luckily it is one of those memories that I can play back in my mind like it was yesterday. I think it was then that i knew that I had kid who was going to love stories and reading forever. I hopeful that Spike Jonze is going to bring to life what I consider to be a true masterpiece in 20 pages.

So when my spare kids are gone Olivia and i will go see it and maybe I will find out then that I have a movie lover for life too.

In Too Deep

2009-10-04T18:36:00.002-06:00

Before I continue with the Nutcracker saga I wanted to post this photo of us canoeing a few weeks ago. I was a little nervous that the three of us trapped in a canoe together for an extended period of time was going to end in either a murder-suicide pact or in the three of us being fished out of the water by some good Samaritan. It turns out that Olivia was able to find endless entertainment attempting to catch fish with nothing other than a small lacrosse net and loving (screaming at) ducks. And because it is Chad and I's assertion that if your child is screaming in the middle of the lake and no one is close enough to hear it, then it is not really happening.

Prima Ballerina

2009-09-30T15:39:00.004-06:00

For those of you who are not my Facebook friends have missed out on the drama that has been the Nutcracker audition. Olivia and I went to the Nutcracker here last year. It is a big to-do here in Madison that is put on by our professional ballet with additional cast members from professional companies in the surrounding cities, Milwaukee, Chicago, etc. There are are also several small parts that they cast from local dance schools. Olivia was absolutely convinced after one act that she MUST DO THIS. So I waited for her to forget about the whole thing all together so I would never have to be any part of this. Unfortunately, the School of Madison Ballet, I believe, hates me personally because they started doing free performances around town, clinics in the libraries, etc to raise awareness that all kids were eligible to audition. A totally unnecessary concern, since Olivia MUST AUDITION.

So after months of impatiently waiting the audition requirements and dates were released and that is when the nightmare that is The Nutcracker was unleashed upon my unsuspecting household. Technically, auditions are done by height, not age, but they did list an age preference and Olivia was too young. But damn if that kid isn't tall, so off we tromped to arrive 45 minutes early to pay for the privilege of auditioning for The Nutcracker. I thought surely she would never get in, since, well, she has no formal ballet training, she is too young and there were approximately ten thousand kids at this audition.

When i say ten thousand i mean that we walk into the studio and it is literally a sea of pink. Pink bags, pink leg warmers, pink sweaters, and the gemstones, oh the gemstones. It was like Bedazzler gone wild. It didn't help that every ten seconds we were being handed a new form, whisked in line to be numbered, photographed, and measured. For one small second I was worried that they would not be returning my daughter to me but making her into some kind of pink tulled sausage.

The girls are then arranged by height, Olivia, sadly, not being nearly the smallest, and I am thinking, really? You want your four year-old in evening performances, come on. Anyway, we then literally herded into a room where we are given the lecture about what a serious commitment this is and how if you don't get in your parents will buy you ice cream (thanks a lot jackass). All the while two instructors are pacing looking at the children, what they were looking for I can only guess. The child who never blinks, fatties, who knows? Parents leave. We return one hour later, during which Chad nearly pees himself he is so excited. Did I mention that Chad thinks this is a terrific idea? Oh yes, showdaddy has reared its ugly head and he is currently reliving his own child performer days. I was waiting for him to bust out "It's A Hardknock Life" right there in the lobby.

You want to know when I knew I was doomed? When she told me part of the audition was performing donkey kicks. A) This is possibly the most obscure dance move ever B) Olivia loves donkey kicks so much it was all she did in her dance performance last year. Because her school is so awesome that ten minutes of donkey kicks is a totally acceptable and applauded performance.

I will continue this story tomorrow because there is so much more.

Back To Cool

2009-09-29T14:08:00.000-06:00

Thanks to everyone for being patient while I took a little break from blogging this summer, but it was my last summer with the kid to myself and I wanted to enjoy it. It really flew by, but we crammed a lot in and made the most of it. Your e-mails tell me that you are all apparently desperate to know what is going on and hear about how things have changed now that the kid is off to school. The truth is that they haven't really. I am at Olivia's school volunteering at least once a week, I do Girl Scouts, Olivia was cast in Madison Ballet's The Nutcracker so that is a lot of craziness that i will get to in a another post, I have gone back to cooking which is a relief and the rest of the time is doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping that it takes to run our household.

We are also still trying to find a good match for us in the foster care system which sometimes means taking respite placements, meeting with our social worker, etc. I have been helping out some friends and taking on small jobs for some extra cash, and like everyone else I have been watching every penny that we spend, which takes up more time than anything I think. Chad's job is going well and we are thankful for that just about every second of every day, but like most businesses they are seeing a downturn and we are trying to be extra careful in case things take a real turn for the worse.

My biggest project has been helping Olivia adjust to all day kindergarten, which has been really exhausting for her. She still comes home at least once a week in tears because she is so tired, and so we are just trying to come up with new strategies to help her make it to dinner without falling asleep in her food. She has been going through a lot of testing at school and I think once we can get over this hump it will get better.

So there is a small update to start off with and starting tomorrow the hilarious misadventures of me cursing out teachers, avoiding parents and inciting coups at the Girl Scout meetings can begin. i know, I've missed you too.

DC Photos

2009-07-07T06:19:00.000-06:00

So I haven't blogged in awhile, blah, blah just look at your damn photos and be happy.

Olivia's Weekend Adventures

2009-04-19T21:37:00.000-06:00

I know that one of the pictures is blurry but i can never resist Olivia's ensembles. Olivia had quite the weekend that started with a trip to the botanical gardens to blow kisses to koi, a night at Stomp where we blantantly ignored age restrictions, then an overnight at her Aunt Kat's where i hear rumors of M&M pancakes. For those of you curious about how Olivia did at Stomp a hour and forty-five minute show with no intermission, let's just say that she spent 24 straight hours randomly clapping and hitting inappropriate objects together. Did not think that one through.

Month of Living Dangerously

2009-04-19T21:13:00.002-06:00

This week starts five weeks of Chad being at trial in Green Bay. We have spent the last two weeks gearing up, Chad has been working later, i have been scrambling to get some projects done and mentally preparing myself for some single-parenting. I might be in denial, but overall I am looking forward to a little alone time. I get the whole bed, to sleep in, eat salads, turn off the tv,etc. I am a little bummed that Chad will be gone for our 10th anniversary, Mother's Day, my sister's high-school graduation and Memorial Day, and let's face it, May is one of our few nice months.

I figure the way to get through it is to make a goal for myself, like teaching myself to lay ceramic tile, or to start drinking. I think the red meat is going to go again, maybe even pork? Poor Chad has to spend a month in a hotel room and he might return home to people he doesn't recognize.

I Would Call It The Daimon

2009-04-16T19:50:00.002-06:00

This is a painting by an artist named Mike Monterio, while I was torn between this and "Let's Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow" I have to put my lot with this one. Unfortunately, sold. I'm thinking it could be a series-Fuck You It's Baby Weight-Fuck You I Shouldn't Be Able To Hear Your Conversation From Here-Fuck You You Bored Me Before You Even Opened Your Mouth.

My genius has been squandered.

For My Book Club Girls

2009-04-13T08:00:00.001-06:00

This is Olivia's closet. It holds most of her art supplies, a mere fraction of her books and all the things I hoard for spontaneous project-making like paper towel tubes. Also, some toys that she is not quite old enough for yet. It is more overstuffed than usually because of the recent birthday. My neighbor and I put it together with peg board and some old parts from her garage.

This is where the rest of the art supplies live in a great little paint corner built by my awesome Father-in-Law. I have to relocate this somewhere else when number two comes and it is breaking my heart, it has been keeping the rest of my house relatively paint free. Olivia has a watercolor station in the kitchen but that is it.

This is where all of the artwork is housed. Some pieces have snuck out and gotten taped to walls, but it is mostly contained in this little curtain rod from IKEA.

I have all of Olivia's dress clothes in a few of these. I used to have hanging pegs, but they were always overcrowded and the clothes were always falling off, besides I believe everything in a small house should be doing double duty.

I hope this is what you were looking for ladies, if not feel free to leave me a comment.

Photo Dump

2009-04-11T13:09:00.000-06:00

Olivia with Miss Frances and the bubbles portion of the aforementioned Fizzy, Foamy Science.

2009-04-10T15:40:00.007-06:00

Since I am in such a great mood I thought I would share a few of my favorite things lately.

1) My reading list for Spring, let's just say there is a fantasy that involves me, a hotel room with a bathtub that holds more than three inches of water and this pile. Also, coffee.

2) I am straight up in love with usluairlines nail polish. I would do a lot of things to have my next manicure in bright orange or this sunny yellow.

3) I have been hankering to throw a party and this Bookworm Party at Oh Happy Day should do the trick.
4) My kitchen is so close to being done I can taste it. I think this little pear-shaped terrarium should do the trick.

5) Last but not least, my ten year anniversary is coming up in a month, and even though Chad will celebrate it alone from trial in Green Bay, that doesn't mean I can't want something fabulous like these, or any, earrings from Blue Poppy.

A Note To Readers

2009-04-10T13:08:00.002-06:00

I feel compelled to write a post saying that I had a wonderful morning with my daughter today. I feel like the funny posts are the ones where she is badly behaved so those get the most play, but today she was terrific. We went to Spanish storytime in Middleton; hung there reading about everything from ferrets to Ancient Egypt. Then we met Chad for lunch and went and got a scoop of ice cream and ate in the sun. Then we came home and picked the sunniest spot in the house to do puzzles, she went down for nap without a peep.

No monster child, it gives me hope that maybe the nice weather will bring a nice attitude?

**-The Taco Bell Ritual, or A Portrait of Crazy

2009-04-08T14:16:00.003-06:00

I am going to let everyone have a little peek at my crazy that may paint a very different picture of me as a person, but is accurate nonetheless.

Whenever I get the opportunity to eat alone I always try to make sure it is a lunch meal. I like to eat lunch alone. To me, it is the meal that you eat reading a book, listening to the radio, quietly enjoying a mid-time break. I usually need a break from having to interact with people, I have mentioned this before, but I do not like interacting with people. I find it stressful and emotionally taxing, but I am good at it and I realize that it is necessary so I do it. I eat lunch with Olivia every day.

When I do get to eat lunch alone I eat at Taco Bell. Despite being a good cook, enjoying well made foods the one food that I feel consistently denied is a bad taco. Whenver I ask to go to Taco Bell my daughter immediately collapses into histronics and my husband looks at me with a stare that says," I'll go because I love you but I will repsect you less afterwards (I have a similar stare for his affinity for the Burger King)."

SO to achieve eating alone and eating at Taco you have to eat in your car, which I prefer to the soul-deadening interior of the Taco Bell, I have better music and it is much quieter, I can read etc. However, I don't like to eat in the car where people can SEE me eating in the car so I have to park in the far back corner of the parking lot where it is a group of people who agree not to make eye contact because they also hate eating with people.

What you have then is a woman who pays someone else so that she can eat bad tacos alone in her car in the back corner of the parking lot. Sad, but I would do it again tomorrow given the chance.

*

2009-04-08T13:56:00.003-06:00

So in the midst of my soul-searching about Olivia's misbehavior I decided to look into my own culpability. I know that remaining calm is what I need to do, but it is a challenge when, say she is digging her fingernails into you and screaming' "I hate you, you are the stupidest Mommy ever!!!!!" when you are in, say, the Walgreens.

So I decided that I have had enough of being a good mother who does not choke her daughter and I was going to hire my sitter an extra day this week and do whatever I want-no compromising. Here is where the sad and desperate part comes in, I will give you a quick sketch of what three hours comes down to and you will see how the little things add up.

1) I called my grandfather from my driveway. I never get to talk to my grandfather without Olivia talking over the conversation. In fact, I never get to have any conversation where Olivia doesn't but in, talk over, or try to get on the phone herself and no amount of time outs or loss of privledges has curbed this behavior. My grandfather is the worst though because he insists on talking to her and if there is any kind of torture for me in hell it is going to be translating the conversation between and 88 year-old man and five year-old.

2) I went to the library to read magazines and look through the new releases. Forget flip through a magazine, I never get to leave the kids' section when I go to the library.

3) I conducted my Taco Bell ritual**.

4) I went on a walk through the marsh to see if my running path was still submerged, and I got to walk at a brisk pace, no stopping, just peace and quiet.

So if you find yourself paying another human being money to allow you to do such menial things as go to the library, make a phone call and eat Taco Bell you may be compromising too much in your daily life. After today all I could wonder is what would everyone I know do if they could do something for three hours that they feel they would never get to do otherwise? Would Chad beach out and watch three hours of baseball on full volume while simultaneously surfing the web? I often wonder if when I am gone he throws his wet towel on the floor in defiance.

Compromising Position

2009-04-08T12:57:00.002-06:00

It is not secret that lately my child has been a hellion. Whenever I tell someone that we are adopting a second child their usual response is something along the lines of, "Are you ready for a child who misbehaves?" Now, I am not trying to claim that Olivia is generally ill-behaved, however Chad and I have experienced our fair share of trying behavior from our one and only. A quick example from this past week is: After refusing to brush her teeth one morning, I informed Olivia that she was not allowed to exit the bathroom until rudimentary dental hygiene had been performed. She proceeded to empty the entire contents of my linen closet onto the floor, throw a cup against the wall-shattering it, and when that did not do the trick she spread half a tube of toothpaste all over the bathroom sink. When she defiantly showed me the end result of her tantrum and my only response was, "Wow that's going to take you awhile to clean up." she dissolved to tears, apologies and self-flagellation.

Chad and I have spent many hours discussing the root of this new and challenging behavior (that is only one of many doozy tantrum stories)and all we can come up with is Olivia has hit the stage that we all do where you realize that you don't want to compromise about anything anymore. Anyone who has been married for a long time, had a horrible boss, demanding friend, domineering mother has hit this point where you feel like if you have to compromise about one more thing you are moving to a cabin in the woods and sending out demands via a #10 envelope. I will admit to having deatiled fantasies about being marooned on a desert island where there is no laundry or people talking to me. I empathize, which is why I can't be truly mad at her behavior, frustrated yes, but in the end I know how heartbreaking it is to come to that realization that never again in your life will you be able to have anything that you truly want when you want it.

My mother is one of twelve children so, naturally, I was raised to believe that you never get anything that you want, life is compromise and you should be grateful for whatever it is that you do have, even if it is not what you wanted. As I got older and had bosses, I learned that even if it is not how you think it should be done, you do it, and in marriage you learn to constantly compromise to create harmony in your home and life. One day you realize that you don't even remember what it is that you truly want, only that you want to get along. The millions of little choices you make every single day, not telling the woman behind you in the grocery that no one cares about the injustice that double coupons are only on Wednesdays, not eating cake for lunch, telling your mother that no that sounds like a great idea, when you know it will be a disater that you are going to be hearing about for months. I realize that this is an important quality to have to get through life and to be a good person and I have to teach Olivia to compromise, but I feel more compelled to teach her to be a little selfish, to hold onto those things you want a little tighter. Otherwise you have an afternoon like mine* where you are struck with how desperate you seem when you get a little taste being uncompromising.

Snowing Come Lately

2009-04-05T15:38:00.002-06:00

I have to admit that I spend all winter hating snow, especially this winter because we didn't get a ton and the snow that did come, came when it was so cold we really couldn't get out and enjoy it. So I find it ironic that I have really been treasuring our spring snows. The last one I was the one who volunteered to make snow angels with all the neighborhood kids and today's snow was just a welcome excuse to have one last days to stay in and snuggle, cook comfort foods and get our house together for the coming busy Spring weeks.

Good-bye winter, it is bittersweet.

2009-03-27T22:32:00.003-06:00

OMG, they made Olivia into a commercial. If you have A) Talked to Olivia on the phone recently you may have noticed that she inflects exploded exactly the same B) We totally just did this last week with the fizzy foamy science kit resulting in a similar enthusiastic conversation with her father.

Jury Duty? Yes, please.

2009-03-27T10:14:00.002-06:00

I got called for jury duty on Monday and normally i would be doing everything possible to get out of it, after the week I've had jury duty=vacation. Sign me up for hours of sitting around doing forced nothingness, nothing sounds awfully good.

Sarah Had Her Baby

2009-03-23T20:39:00.002-06:00

And she is 8lbs 12 oz worth of gorgeous! This is my first friend who actually let me sit in the waiting room, I figure by the time they all have their second ones I can finally fulfill my fantasy of being doula for a day. Though if all my friends keep having so many struggles with their day care providers I may have to start my own.

2009-03-22T21:39:00.002-06:00

Chad and I did two things to further demonstrate our sheer lameness today.

1) We hired a babysitter to sit down and pay bills. That's right our rocking Sunday night with babysitter consisted of spreadsheets, budgets and checkbooks. Good news, we aren't broke yet!

2) The laughs we got tonight were watching Japanese baseball. When you are getting your yucks doing MST 3000 to Japanese baseball it is time to pack it in.

Maybe tomorrow well get out a toothbrush and scrub the shower?

Road Trip

2009-03-21T21:17:00.002-06:00

We are down at my parents, which means that we get to see 45 minutes of everything on AMC or TCM (because that is how long we get in the tv rotation of two teenagers). I have now seen all of the Godfather, albeit in various parts completely out of order, and I am halfway through Guess Who's Coming For Dinner. Though, believe it or not, this is not the highlight of these trips. The highlight is the car conversations between Chad and I, and now Olivia as she listens intently from the backseat and tries to piece things together.

This week's topic? Are you glass a half-empty or glass a half-full and a heated debate over which of these qualities contributes to genius, or alternately success. Olivia interpreted this conversation as whether or not you are person who wants more juice.

Photo Dump

2009-03-19T14:08:00.000-06:00

Assorted birthday pictures, yes I think that cake may glow in the dark/give the children cancer. Olivia climbing her first tree and one of the best birthday gifts of all time, getting to play with all of Aunt Kat's offical policewoman gear.

I Declare Today A Holiday In The Nation of Gendreau

2009-03-18T14:56:00.003-06:00

We are finished with our home study! No more interviews, background checks, paperwork or home visits. No more searching for my marriage certificate or getting bank paperwork or hoping Olivia doesn't say something crazy like she hates black people. We will soon be acceptable parents in the eyes of the State of Wisconsin, or at least good enough to not waste anymore of our social worker's time.

Maybe it is a confused delusion, but I feel like now this is over what is next will be much easier. I know that it will be its own crazy, but I can deal with a confused, scared and angry kid a lot better than I can deal with an apathetic bureaucracy. We can get excited now, I am excited. Until that paperwork is finished you can always have that little unhinged fear that someone is going to come in and say that you can't adopt, you are not acceptable. Now I can move onto the fear that we will get the child and someone will then take it back, awesome! Or my greater, current fear that the children are overtaking me since I am now convinced that Olivia is smarter than I am.

We finished some huge house projects this weekend so for one week of my life I feel like we actually took one whole step forward without taking any back. Unfortunately for my poor beleaguered husband, that just makes me want to keep going full steam ahead. We can lay ceramic tile, honey! However, I value my marriage so I declare today a national holiday in the land of Gendreau and I will toast my fellow Gendreauians with spaghetti and meatballs to celebrate our one big step into the rest of our new life.

Aunt Karen To The Rescue

2009-03-13T06:37:00.003-06:00

After a week of running around in Florida and one very late-night flight we are back home. Waking up and getting going yesterday was a little harsh so when I saw that Olivia had a package I thought, "Here is a reprieve!" Sure enough, Karen knows Olivia to an O and sent a great pack of Fancy Nancy and craft items, her two favorites which kept her busy all morning.

I am going to digress here and say that I love Fancy Nancy, she is a girl for modern economic times. For those not familiar with Fancy Nancy, she is a girl who likes to make herself "fancy" with common household items and bemoans the fact that her parents insists on being plain. She is singing Olivia's life with her words. Anyway, when the Fancy Nancy merchandise first came off the line it was a bunch of dress-up clothing, completely counter-intuitive to Nancy. Nancy believes in reusing, she would never buy something to make herself fancy when she could put more glitter on something she already owns. So that's why I was thrilled that Karen managed to find Nancy's Guide To Making Everything Fancy which essentially teaches kids how to re purpose broken or other castoff items.

Anyway, we are back with a vengeance, a to-do list a mile long, but with some motivation for change. The weather is warming up, we have so many exciting things on the horizon: our first family road trip, camping, the completion of our home study, a tax refund, that it is hard not to feel positive about what's to come.

2009-03-01T20:33:00.002-06:00

I register Olivia for kindergarten tomorrow, we are going with her best friend Alex in case either of the mothers has to have a moment where we break down and bawl in the middle of the school gym. In Stephanie's school district the kids have to take some basic proficiency skills tests just to see if the kids might need special support. I don't think they do that in Madison, but if they do I am going to have her do it in three different languages interchangeably, just to see what happens, just because I want to see what the speech pathologist's face looks like when little white Olivia starts speaking to her in Mandarin. With my luck she will start speaking Spanish and they will put her in the ESL class, though maybe that wouldn't be so bad? There is nothing in this world Olivia loves more than showing off, so none of these antics will require prompting by me anyway.

Olivia explained to me today that her plans for tomorrow basically are to stage a sit-in with her cadaver book from Uncle Sean until they just let her start kindergarten. She believes that if she just refuses to leave registration, they will just let her start tomorrow. So this is going to be awesome, I can tell already. Good thing we leave for Florida on Tuesday, otherwise we would never get out of there.

New and Improved

2009-02-28T14:43:00.002-06:00

So last Friday night Chad and I chilled independently and when we reconnected and compared notes on what we had done we realized that we had both spent the evening watching PBS. When your downtime includes "Frontline" you need a date night, stat. So Magnus here we come! I wonder how Congress will feel about me using my tax rebate to purchase a European cheese plate? I am comforted by the fact that i think that I may be single-handedly putting my babysitter through college.

2009-02-19T21:45:00.000-06:00

This is what I am using as a screensaver to remember that there was one and only one warm day.

Time to make the donuts

2009-02-19T21:34:00.000-06:00

Sean sent Chad some photos of him working at the donut shop in high school and it sparked some yummy nostalgia.

Found the camera!

2009-02-19T21:26:00.002-06:00

This picture is for anyone who has ever asked me why I hung my lower shelf so high. I needed clearance because this is where Olivia likes to sit when we cook together. It drives Chad crazy, but so do most things when Olivia and I cook together. He'll stop complaining when she's a better cook than he is by the time she's ten.

2009-02-19T21:02:00.002-06:00

Olivia's list of reasons why she wants to be a brain surgeon as told to her doctor this week:

1) It is squishy and she likes squishy things.
2) She thinks the tightly coiled brain matter makes a cool shape and she wants to unravel it to see what it looks like.
3) The brain is pink and she likes everything pink. I don't have the heart to tell her that despite being pink colored in the illustrations, brains are really not pink.

2009-02-19T20:47:00.002-06:00

This week has been all over the place. I keep asking myself why I haven't been posting and I have come up with a short list this I think sums it up.

1) Facebook. Somehow I feel if I post a status update on Facebook that this completes a compulsory nod to the outside world.

2) I lost my camera. I have no idea where it or most things are in my house right now. I like to post pictures and I think that I have been waiting so that I could post pictures of us making donuts, enjoying rain puddles, etc.

3) I am tired. This week I have bought a new car, stayed up all night every night with my kid who had the flu, sold my old car, got ready for the big birthday, trying to get ready for our house walk-through on Wednesday for the adoption. Oh, and coordinating a visit from my mother, which in itself is ridiculously exhausting. Two weeks we have been talking about this visit, she is supposed to be here in two days and still don't know if she is actually showing up. Oscars. Somewhere in there I think my husband was out of town? I can't even remember, that's how tired.

4) I have been having a mid-life crisis about driving a mini-van disguised as an SUV. I have finally taken that last step towards suburban house-wifedom and it is not pretty.

So this posting thing will get better, eventually.

2009-02-11T20:35:00.003-06:00

I suppose it is time to update the blog when you start receiving phone call at your home telling you that you need to update the blog. Frankly, I have just been busy, doing what I am not quite sure. I was sick, I threw a baby shower, I have been working on finishing our homestudy, nothing terribly time consuming. Mostly it is the little stuff like:

1) Holy crap, who new that a Kate Winslet holocaust movie could be so bad? You know it is bad when I am rooting for Tropic Thunder. I hate Ben Stiller almost as much as I hate Jack Johnson.

2) Elliptical machine seem like a bad idea all around. I am a treadmill girl, personally, mostly because I like running, but also because it is virtually impossible to not look like a spaz on an elliptical machine. I have been watching people of all shapes and sizes, all look like spazzes.

3) Red Velvet cake-Weird to eat, surprisingly difficult to make.

4) Do you know how many layers are in your eyeball? I do now because the anatomy fascination has not let up.

5) Facebook-enough said.

6) Kindle 2-I NEED one and I have to spend a lot of time convincing Chad that this is true. Shocking, I know. Convincing the gadget man that for once I need the gadget.

So as you can see, there are some very compelling reasons for not updating my blog, so stop calling me.

Under the Weather

2009-01-27T20:14:00.002-06:00

I have been really down for the past week really with the cold to end all colds. It started out as a little nagging cold and has morphed into one of those colds that you want to do nothing but NyQuil the hell out of yourself and not wake-up for three days. If anyone ever wants to know what the worst part of being a stay-at-home is, no sick days-ever. It is made worse, however, because this is the a week where I would normally be on the internet non-stop because two exciting things have happened.

1) New president. Despite being excited that it is a Democrat, a little known fact about my husband and myself is that we are total policy junkies. Our time in DC is always dredged up when a new administration starts because we know what an exciting place DC can be when everyone is fired up. Somewhere the minutiae of everything the new administration is doing is being discussed, and I am not reading all of it!

2) Oscars. As longtime blog readers know, Chad and I are Oscars obsessed. Once upon a time we saw them all, this year, not so much. To compensate Chad and I usually read every prediction because the one thing Chad and I allow ourselves to get competitive with each other about is our Oscar pool. Usually, trying to compete with a lawyer is your own funeral, but I consistently kick his ass with the Oscar pool. And every year it is just as sweet.

I also am planning a fun baby shower and all manner of social worker craziness, so a three day nap to gear up would be really nice. . .

2009-01-25T22:45:00.000-06:00

Ellie and Olivia attended a Fancy Nancy dress-up party this weekend. What can I say? To some girls, it's a party, to some it's a lifestyle.

We Were Here

2009-01-25T22:42:00.000-06:00

Where were you on the big day?

Burn Baby Burn

2009-01-19T21:54:00.000-06:00

SO Chad and I spent our Saturday night drinking blue drinks, throwing shoes and generally enjoying being a Democrat. It happens so rarely that we as a group have cause to celebrate that we had to take advantage. This was the climax of the evening, he went up in flames nearly as quickly as his approval ratings.

Olivia and I are going to spend tomorrow reading books about the White House, watching the inauguration live at our children's museum and then getting booster shots. Fun!

We May Have Forgotten To Mention

2009-01-15T20:26:00.002-06:00

Okay everybody I have an embarrassing confession to make, I have some news that I may or may have shared with you. Understand first that I am tired, very tired. Second, This isn't the kind of news where you get to just send out the mass e-mail with something simple like "We bought a house! or I'm pregnant!" But we are very excited to tell everyone that last Fall Chad and I applied to adopt a second child from state foster care. We have spent the last several months completing the home study portion of the process and after what seems like yet another interview tonight we have been told that we will be finished in March. Yeah! We have tried hard to tell everyone one by one over the past few months, but I know that with all that has gone on over the past few months I may have missed some people and for that I am sorry.

At first there was nothing to tell, we didn't know how long it would take, what kind of child we would be getting, anything. We don't know much more now but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel and we are starting to get very excited. Olivia has been told that we will be having a kid come and stay with us and that's it, but that is enough to be thrilling to her. We know that we have a hard road ahead, but know that we have great friends and family to support us.

I know that it is weird to announce that you are adding to your family you just don't know how or when. Is feels a little like saying, hey I know someday I am going to get promoted. So thanks to everyone that we have told and has been supportive, we hope to have more info for everyone soon.

It's Official, God Hates Me

2009-01-12T15:18:00.002-06:00

SO when did we start renovating the kitchen, June? My microwave has been sitting on my living room floor for seven months. While all that squatting may be giving me a J-Lo ass, lying on my stomach to clean the fucking thing has been no picnic. Confused as to why someone who has gone on long tirades against pre-packaged foods uses her microwave so much? I have a four year-old. That kid has to microwave everything. All drinks must be microwaved for 20 seconds, all food, she would put her clothes in that microwave if I let her. For the simple reason that it is an apparatus that she can work ALL BY HERSELF. Until she realizes that she can't because she has to squat down to get it out too.

So Thursday I finally had a meltdown and called out the lesbian posse to rehang the microwave and all day long I did a little dance about not having to lay on the floor to clean the microwave. After two hours, the thing was hung, and it was beautiful until we realized the motherfucking thing would not turn on. An hour later, the troubleshooting guide run through twice, I now have no microwave at all.

It was hubris, folly. God is punishing me for just not being grateful that I had a working microwave and now i doomed to dry the tears of four sobbing kid because her milk is cold.

Photo Dump

2009-01-06T07:27:00.000-06:00

Here are some photos of us at Nutcracker and our borderline Charlie Brown tree. Next year I want the tree to be truly scraggly, not just small.

2009-01-06T07:18:00.000-06:00

Yeah, good luck getting her to sleep last night. If anyone is looking for Chad he is right here, doing this.

hey baby

2009-01-04T21:59:00.002-06:00

Our house has spent the last few days getting ready for 2009. We put away the Christmas stuff (hello living room, I missed you so) and made some nice inroads into our to-do lists. So tonight at dinner I ask Olivia what her resolutions for 2009 are; I explain that resolutions are getting rid of bad habits or making more time for things you enjoy doing. Chad suggests that she resolve to stop sucking her thumb. She replies that since she doesn't believe sucking her thumb to be bad, it cannot be a bad habit. So we move on to my resolutions, however we only made it as far as number one-to get Olivia ready to start school. After that it was all talk about how she was ready and, in fact, she would prefer that kindergarten start tomorrow. So I ask her what i am going to do while she is in school and her reply is, no lie, "Drink wine and cry." Little does she know that by the time September rolls around it will be happy tears. By then I might also be actually drinking wine, since my child tells everybody that I do so I might as well start. This is after she told me earlier this evening that she wants an additional mother who will be more accommodating with producing siblings in baby form.

So starting tomorrow Olivia is getting her wish and we are borrowing a friend's baby for a week just to shut her up (and to fill the gap in her child care). After hour four of baby whimpers and poop diapers we'll see who wants a baby brother. Do i have any wine in the house?

2009-01-01T21:58:00.002-06:00

SO i spent my fresh, clean first day of the new year haggling with used car salesmen and ended the day eating a gyro in a gas station. I am torn about that, on the one hand i am thrilled to have found a supply of freshly made Greek yogurt, on the other hand I am totally creeped out by the fact that it is in the gas station next to my house.

I guess that when it comes down to it i am a glass half-empty girl.

New Year, the holiday for neurotics

2008-12-29T15:52:00.005-06:00

New Year is one of my most favorite times of year. I love that everything gets a clean slate, that all of your bad habits are a thing of the past and somehow, this year, things will change. I love the Rose Bowl Parade, cleaning out my closets, and having a day off work that you don't feel compelled to spend with your family. But most of all I love the list making. Nothing in this world makes me happier than making lists, and posting them and then crossing things off of them. I make lists for everything; long-term projects, short-term projects, things to do before I die, grocery lists for every store in town (should I ever need to stop at the west-side grocery store I have a list that reminds me what products are sold there that are not sold at my store). The list goes on and on. I even just love to say the word list. I make them when I am anxious to relax me or when I am excited (what to do with Chad's bonus check!).

I recognize that the lists may be the most obvious manifestation of my particular brand of crazy, but I can't give them up. My lists are my measure of my accomplishments, how far I have come in a year. It is the best way for me to pause for introspection when usually the only direction it seems like I go is forward, full speed ahead. I will spend the next week combing through all the lists I have hidden in my datebooks, notebooks, white boards and cork boards to make the list of where I am going this year. If I hit a snag there is always the do-over of Chinese New Year. How can you not love a holiday that requires you to sweep out your whole house? Because if there is anything I love more than a list, it is a list that states the order in which I will clean my house.

Sean is Old like me

2008-12-29T15:50:00.001-06:00

Happy Belated Birthday Sean! The most wonderful gift on the planet is already in the mail.

Peacemaker

2008-12-27T16:31:00.002-06:00

I wouldn't consider myself the most devout Catholic. There are a lot of things about my faith that really speak to me, and a lot of things about my church that really don't, the whole we don't like gays thing, relegating women to supporting roles, banning birth control, etc, etc. However, I am a person who can take the good with the bad so every year my husband, child and I trudge ourselves to Christmas mass. Every year I go just to hear the words of Isaiah, "They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Father-Forever, Prince of Peace. His dominion is vast and forever peaceful."

If I am honest with myself I would have to say that I don't really believe in God. However, I do believe that the story of Jesus is probably one of the greatest stories ever told, and like all good stories, it does not need to be true to be powerful. To imagine that a whole society of people were swayed to believe through the power of mere words that a child had been born to bring peace to the world is pretty amazing. Those words are still powerful enough today that people still await a God-Hero. What is a Wonder-Counselor? Something that has to have a happy ending I think.

Shoppers behaving badly

2008-12-23T22:47:00.002-06:00

So Chad and I made the mistake of trying to make a return at the mall on Saturday where we were trapped in the mall parking lot for an hour and half. Yes, you read right. It was like quicksand, you pulled in and suddenly realized that you couldn't get out. We passed the time and kept the hysteria at bay by photographing mall parkers behaving badly.

The first shot is every single car surrounding this spot parking over the yellow line, the second is a person who apparently just abandoned their vehicle in the middle of an aisle when they couldn't find a parking spot. Also witnessed but not photographed, someone parking horizontally across the first four spaces in an aisle and a woman in a full length fur coat and boots going into the kohl's. With a Bluetooth earpiece in. I have seriously never seen anyone look so ridiculous, until she used her cart to literally ram another woman out of the way of the doors.

At about forty minutes the time in the car became less about shitty mall parking (where are the urban planners when you need them) than about observing a grandiose a social experiment. Between the woman honking and giving Chad the finger because somehow he was the one person in the stopped dead traffic who should have been moving and seeing all the minivan Dvd players light up one by one you learn a little bit about who you are as a person. Chad and I listened to Christmas music, talked about whether or not we could afford a new car and were generally grateful to just be forced to do nothing. Okay, maybe a little irritated that it was in a mall parking lot, but mostly grateful. It may be a comment on our over-scheduled lives that any down-time is appreciated, but I choose to believe that Chad and I are made for each other and can be happy stuck together in a rental car in the middle of a mall parking lot.

Olivia, on the other hand, took one look at the angry mob out the window and decided a nap would be a good idea.

Here Comes The Sun

2008-12-23T22:35:00.002-06:00

I know that it is basically a winter shit storm here right now, but something very important happened this week that somehow makes all the difference. Winter solstice. I know it is probably because I live in hippy-dippy Madison that I give the solstice any credence, but just knowing that what little sun there is will last longer every day now is the mental boost you need when even the radio dj's are yelling at their own meteorologists to shut up. I seriously heard that yesterday, it was awesome.

Besides, now that I have already had my mid-December crying meltdown about the snow I feel that I can embrace it.

Out with the old

2008-12-19T11:34:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite things to do around the holiday season is to purge. Usually my mom takes Olivia for a couple of days after Christmas and I clear out anything and everything that can go to Salvation Army and find places to put the mountains of crap that child receives every year. however, this year my mom's administration at work is being bastard coated bastards and not letting any of the nursing staff take time off for the months of December and January. So I am taking advantage of Chad being snowed in with 10 inches of snow to try and clear out.

The only problem is that now my husband and child are witness to this process and are clinging to every holey t-shirt, broken toy and never-used item that is in this house. So i finally just busted out that there will be nothing new purchased or brought into the house until this stuff is gone. Maybe I should have been doing this before Christmas all along.

2008-12-17T23:17:00.002-06:00

Yeah, that nice Christmas dinner and tree trimming? Olivia sat up in the middle of dinner and VOMITED ALL OVER THE TABLE-twice. Then walked into the living room and, wait for it, VOMITED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TREE.

So, yeah, merry freaking Christmas. I will be spending tomorrow in the doctor's office because Olivia vomiting means only strep throat. Then I will be snowed in with our incoming ten inches and a puker. If you are reading this and you are related to me, I have some terrible news. There are no gifts coming, and no Christmas cards either. No cookies, no candies.

But I got those damn ornaments on.

Learning Curve

2008-12-17T14:13:00.002-06:00

So today, after days of running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I called in sick to Christmas. i gave my car to Chad so i couldn't be tempted to run just one more errand and stayed home with my kid. My poor kid who hasn't had a whole day to just play in over a month just about lost her head. She would literally stop mid-game and say, "Wait I just remembered one more thing that we could do!" So tonight we will have soup and then take advantage of the one day this week that it is not going to snow 7 inches and go see some Christmas lights. Maybe we will even get around to trimming the tree that has been standing in our living room for five days.

I forgot that Christmas was fun.

Show Stopper

2008-12-15T22:22:00.003-06:00

Understandably, the one thing that has been hitting my aunt really hard about the chemo is losing her hair. The only thing hitting her harder is the wig she has to wear until it grows back. Since my offers to shave my head were promptly rejected, the only thing I had to offer was Olivia doing a bizarre little dance while wearing the wig. This may be funny to absolutely no one else, but even the thought of her wearing this wig makes me crack up.

Why I Am A Lazy Bastard

2008-12-14T15:33:00.002-06:00

So the activity today was go to a Christmas concert. We are really fortunate in Madison to have a ton of free or cheap concerts going at pretty much all times. So when I started reading the list of today's concerts I knew before I even finished what we would be seeing. Olivia's all time greatest obsession, The Trinity Irish Dancers. I have seen these kids perform I don't know how many times and every time I do the inevitable conversation comes up that makes me a lazy bastard. Olivia has been begging to join the troop for about a year now, but I don't have the heart to tell her that it is a cult. A wig-wearing, high kicking cult. A cult that would require me to spends hundreds of dollars, give up my Tuesday evenings and most of my Saturdays to watching her wear a tacky costume and jumping up and down and I just can't do it. This is my parenting line in the sand, no Irish dancing.

Chad is giving it six months before I cave.

Adventagious

2008-12-14T15:23:00.002-06:00

So instead of candy in the advent calendar we choose the high road of daily Advent activities. Olivia has added it to her growing list of why we are The Worst Parents Ever (insert eye roll here). In some ways it is a great way to squeeze in all those Christmas things that you wouldn't do unless your kid was waving a small piece of paper in your face as her proof that you MUST do it or suffer the loud tantrum consequences. On the other hand, you have to do crap. And trust me, coming up with 25 days of stuff starts to get creative somewhere around day 16. I believe next week I will be having a picnic under the Christmas tree.

For the first time ever, shockingly, Olivia has started to refuse to participate in certain activities. I thought that Olivia would be much older when I found myself saying through clenched teeth, "It is Christmas and we will sit here and sing carols or so help me God no one will get presents."

Suck It Martha!

2008-12-14T15:21:00.000-06:00

A masterpiece to rival Michaelangelo and only a minimal amount of candy was consumed. However, a ridiculous amount of frosting ended up in her hair.

What You Learn After 12 Days Hanging With Someone Undergoing Chemo and Putting Your Grandfather In A Nursing Home

2008-12-10T22:36:00.003-06:00

Yeah, good times. So, I have been busy. I have learned that all the years of my stinginess with television and sweets all came to fruition when I needed to get a four year-old to sit, still, quietly. Endless Hershey kisses and Nickelodeon can apparently achieve just that. I learned that it is, indeed, not possible to stage an intervention for a woman and her Lifetime movies (but you can give positive reinforcement for her love of Rachel Maddow). I learned you can be the classiest people in the room in a wig and a three year-old Old Navy skirt. That life as I know it would cease to exist without caffeine free Diet Coke and Trazadone. That no matter how much you love someone they can't live forever. That all you can do in life is try to make the right choices and the rest really isn't up to you. That Chanel nail polish is the best stocking stuffer of the season, even Oprah says so. And those assholes in Florida have a better Target than me. Seriously, I have 100 inches of snow, the least I deserve is the best Target. Bitches.

And We're Off!

2008-11-23T11:24:00.001-06:00

Hi all, I am off for some travel for about three weeks. I will check in as best I can, but until then be good!

For Spoon

2008-11-21T16:37:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I can be brought around to the Facebooking. Today I found Spoon of the aforementioned Dante's Inferno Board Game. So Spoon, here is Olivia. She likes lots of things, Nightmare Before Christmas, the Wicked Witch of the West, lip gloss and telling me I don't know anything. Other Facebookers making their way here, welcome. Feel free to page the archives.

Tiny Dancer

2008-11-19T21:17:00.003-06:00

So tonight I went and bought Olivia her very first ticket to The Nutcracker. We are going Christmas Eve and I am not going to lie, I cried right there at the ticket booth. i am not girly about much, but I go absolutely little-girl-sparkly-pink crazy for The Nutcracker. I dress up, I wear lip gloss and I am so thrilled to be dipping into my inner-princess with my all princess, all the time, little girl. The fact that it is going to involve dancing is merely icing on the cake. So I blew my my entire December allowance on orchestra seats, there will be a very tea and crumpets lunch ahead of time, and then my little Clara will actually get to see the dance moves that accompany the music that she has been making up her own moves to for years.

As a warm up her dad is taking her to a full-length performance of her school's dance troupe Friday night. I wish him good luck and God speed.

I am Thankful For

2008-11-18T21:25:00.000-06:00

Getting to make a dish involving open flame; we have already decided that the ramekins will be an annual tradition. I envision souffles, mini scalloped potatoes, turkey stuffing and potatoes all in one, the possibilities are endless.

Michele and her best homicidal maniac impersonation. The new is fun, but knowing that you have great friends that are going to be there every year to do the thankless jobs are really the best part of Thanksgiving. I just wish I had gotten a shot of Ariella's pies, unfortunately they disappeared before I got to them.
The ever-growing kids table. The under two set was missing from this shot, but next year there will be three more kids and a baby in this picture. Christopher was the only kid that existed when we held the first Thanksgiving, an amazing and incredible way to mark time.

Thanks to everyone who came, helped clean up, brought extra items and watched our kid. Whenever anyone asks us if we do it all, we always say, no way. Without our friends we would never get it all done. Happy Thanksgiving!

Son of a . . .

2008-11-18T17:04:00.000-06:00

2, 4, 6, 8 Teach Your Kids Not To Hate

2008-11-18T17:02:00.000-06:00

Some shots from our rally. Olivia and I went together and it was a great moment for her to see people who are really affected by this and be able to to talk and listen to them. We have lots of gay friends here in Madison, but it really hit home for her to realize that it affects a lot more people than just her family and friends. Thanks to everyone that turned out and was willing to take questions from a nosy four year-old.

2008-11-17T16:17:00.002-06:00

Today reminds me of that first day that I would come home after finals in college. You realize that you have probably been fighting off a cold for days but you have been running on pure adrenaline so you have been keeping it at bay. Then the minute you walk in your parents' door your body relaxes and every germ you have been exposed to for the last two weeks takes over? That's today. Is there some kind of virus that replaces all of your muscles with gelatin?

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

2008-11-15T21:17:00.002-06:00

i peeled 15lbs of potatoes this way. The cork is soft, thank God. So for all to drool with excitement here is the final menu:

Cranberry Chutney Crostini
Cider Basted Turkey with Calvados Gravy
Three Onion Stuffing-everything is homemade down to the bread we used
Roasted Garlic Potatoes-roasted garlic paste is not fun to make
Bruleed Sweet Potatoes-in ramekins for extra wow factor, we actually are using this dish as a pitiful excuse to borrow Michele's blow torch
Corn Pudding
Spice Cake With Apple Puree and Cream Cheese Frosting

It is a toned down, traditional menu, but it is one that allowed us to be lazy bastards until today.

Thanksgiving update

2008-11-14T23:57:00.000-06:00

So here is the what what. Chad and his army of shallots and me managing the three separate spreadsheets we have for Thanksgiving with a boatload of chutney next to me. We have totally procrastinated this year to the point that we made Facebook pages instead of working on cooking. So tomorrow and Saturday are going to be a spectacular suckfest.

2008-11-13T16:13:00.000-06:00

Five pictures and this is the only one where we didn't have crazy eyes. How can that be?

Protesting Facebook

2008-11-13T16:03:00.003-06:00

SO I was trying to get info about the Prop 8 protest in Madison on Saturday (12:30 Library Mall be there or be square) and the whole thing was set up via Facebook page so I finally sucked it up and made one. Facebook scares the living shit out of me. I don't get, it seems like a lot of totally superficial info screaming at you all at once and I am not totally sure what to do with it. The blog has soothing colors and it is only me screaming at you. Not other people and their pictures and people I knew in high school and haven't thought about in fifteen years.

So please inform me what I am supposed to be doing with such a thing. Then get yourself to the nearest Prop 8 rally, keep the dialog going, go to the blacklist and find out what businesses gave money to it and boycott them, put it on your Facebook page, and tell your friends. If we can elect a black president surely we can let two adults get married.

Cornocopia

2008-11-12T22:19:00.002-06:00

So I will do my best to do updates with pictures and stuff like I did last year, but here is the sneak peek for Thanksgiving from yesterday's shopping list:

9Lbs onions
18lbs apples
5lbs corn
15 lbs potatoes
32 lbs turkey
6lbs butter
Champagne

Whole lotta yum.

Tall Tales

2008-11-12T22:07:00.002-06:00

Olivia and I were listening to the radio the other day and I hear a local ad where the voice over is paging her fairy godmother to fulfill her greatest dream. Immediately Olivia's ear perk up, knee deep as she is in fairy tale princessness.

Then I realize that the girl is asking her fairy godmother for a boob job. Seriously?

My beef is this A) I now have to explain to my kid what a boob job is B) This is a top forty station whose listening audience is populated with mainly pre-pubescent girls. WTF?

Forget tobacco ads, this crap should be outlawed.

Out With The Old In With The ?

2008-11-09T21:28:00.001-06:00

"President-elect Obama plans to use his executive powers to make an immediate impact when he takes office, perhaps reversing Bush administration policies on stem cell research and domestic drilling for oil and natural gas."

So glad that we are getting rid of Bush and all those Executive Orders we loved so much. Between this and Rahm Emanuel I am feeling decidedly less hopeful.

Land of opportunity

2008-11-06T21:14:00.002-06:00

As we landed in Vegas yesterday I was totally struck by the fact that I can start in freezing cold farm land and four hours later be in the desert. Nothing says America to me like dramatic changes in topography, a city springing out of the middle of nothing and slot machines in the airport. I was a little disappointed to not be in Madison after election day where they, apparently, had spontaneous parties in the street. However, what better way to start the hope administration than with gambling, lots and lots of gambling.

2008-11-06T21:06:00.002-06:00

So I am obviously ecstatic about a Democratic win. I have never loved Barack, but I was pleased by his acceptance speech because I am hopeful that he will continue his campaign for personal responsibility. Politicians always promise a lot and ask for little in return and in this era of outrageous personal debt, mortgages that people couldn't afford and otherwise gross excess I am relieved to have somebody say, we can only get out of this mess if we suck it up, pull together and stop living like assholes.

I am also just incredibly relieved that the Democrats actually managed to be disciplined and not screw it up, for once.

Won Over

2008-11-04T17:55:00.002-06:00

I am so relieved to have the election nearly over. i have developed an unhealthy addiction to CNN. However, from now on I will be voting early because it got me off some kind of list. I did not receive a single robo-call or door knock this election cycle.

Go Obama! I have to get it all out now before I arrive at the parental unit's Republican lock-down.

Treaty

2008-11-04T17:54:00.000-06:00

Olivia in her punk-rock princess ensemble, our next door neighbors' pumpkins and Olivia getting her make-up done by our neighbor, a professional make-up artist. Overall she had a great time, and Chad and I enjoyed what will probably be the last year that she will ask to go home because she has enough candy.

Falling For It

2008-11-04T17:48:00.000-06:00

Though I am disappointed to not be in Madison for the election results, I am really grateful that we were here for every last minute of Indian Summer. It was pretty short this year, but it was over election day and Halloween so we really got to maximize our enjoyment of it. It is by far my favorite time of year, the colors, the perfect temps, even the light is prettier. So tomorrow when the temps drop to 50 degrees i will be in sunny Vegas pretending that my Indian Summer is lasting a few more days.

Halloweaned

2008-10-30T19:36:00.002-06:00

So this week has been a little exhausting. In most respects Olivia is not mine. She does not look like me, talk like me or share any of my interests. In fact, at the ripe age of four she already takes any opportunity possible to spite or spurn me. Think I'm kidding? Just ask her father whom she looks and talks like and if he said that his new favorite activity was eating garbage off the street she would say, "Yum Daddy! Discarded ATM receipts are my favorite!"

So it is a little shocking that Olivia loves Halloween every bit as much as I do. Until I began to suspect that she is trying to love it so much as to make me hate it. One craft is not enough, it must be ten crafts, one special Halloween meal is not enough, there must be two, there is one corner in the house that remains undecorated! Every single one of her friends needs a personalized Halloween treat bag! At first, I tackled it with gusto, just excited to be enjoying something together instead of fantasizing about fifteen minutes and a roll of duct tape. However, as I finish the ugliest pink cape known to man and the "eyeball" meatballs tonight I am breathing a little sigh of relief that tomorrow it will all be over.

Because next is Thanksgiving and I already can't stand that damn holiday.

Party Like It's 1996

2008-10-28T11:13:00.003-06:00

Love parties? Love elections? Then this is the link for you with lots of great ideas of how to spend election night. The thought of making electoral map cookies makes me very sad that I will be watching election results with my cranky Republican parents who have already forbidden any whooping, gloating, happy dances and high fives.

We might have to watch the results in a bar. After all, the car picks us up at 5 AM, why not stay up all night? It's Vegas, in my opinion, you should arrive there hung over and not having slept for days.

Wrong side

2008-10-27T21:16:00.003-06:00

I missed my workout due to an early-waking kid, who then refused to get her hair cut at her appointment today only to get home, look at my recipe for dinner and realize that for some unknown reason I only purchased two out of the ten ingredients and had to improvise the rest. I then spent the next thirty minutes telling my grandfather that my aunt's breast cancer is going to be fine, Fine, FINE! I spent the evening just staring at the on-line photo of our hotel room in Vegas and chanting eight days, eight days. . .

A Little Off

2008-10-24T22:36:00.002-06:00

So you know your parenting might be a little askew when the following scenario happens:

You are taking your four year-old to see one of her favorite movies that happens to be in limited theatrical release. You get to the theatre and your heart sinks thinking, oh no, all these kids are here to see our movie and we are not going to be able to get tickets. After all, the theatre is mobbed. You get in line looking at all the little girls waiting for tickets and think, wow, cool, I am glad this movie is getting so much attention; then you hear the person in front of you order her tickets. . .

What? High School Musical? WTF? Is that what all these people are here to see? I didn't even know it was out? Huh. You walk up to your theatre and see along line. Crap. Oh wait, it is the overflow line from High School Musical. You walk into the theatre to see-one other family. Parents with their 7 year-old daughter. That's when you realize. . .

You are the only asshole in the world taking your four year-old to see Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D.

It was totally awesome though.

Obama-rama

2008-10-23T06:57:00.003-06:00

We have been trying desperately to get a nice family portrait in front of our Obama yard sign but Chad has been working late so it hasn't worked out quite yet. We did, however, go as a family to vote yesterday. Wisconsin is a state where you can vote early and Chad and I always do because it frees us up to volunteer on election day. This was the first election that we have lived in the Madison city limits though and voting early is a wholly different experience.

First of all, it took forty-five minutes. In a politically active city whose preferred candidate is encouraging voters to hit the polls early even at eleven in the morning the polls are packed. Second, we were the only ones in line with a small child which means that we were the only in line having fun. I Spy, my father owns a zoo, and various other guessing is about all you have to entertain a four year-old in line, that was we needed because everyone in line totally got into it. It was one of those times that rejoice in humanity because Olivia waiting in line for forty-five minutes for something that did not involve candy or stickers at the end could have been disastrous. There is just something about kid that exclaims, "B is for Barak Obama!" that can bring people together.

So vote early everyone, free up the polls on election day!

Fall fantasy

2008-10-22T16:41:00.000-06:00

There are certain things that I can't get enough of, peas in Spring, strawberries in Summer and apples in Fall. We only have a few more weeks of Farmer's Market left where you can stand as it's apples as far as the eye can see. I have about four more days to get everything in order before the holidays start for us. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and therefore, a week long affair that includes making special treat for the neighborhood kids. This year it is all about apples, apple chips, carmel apples, and apple-pear sauce. Look for lots of posts of our goings-on next week.

After that it is only two weeks until our big Thanksgiving. Somewhere in there i am going to Vegas for four days where i am going to do nothing but sit in a tub and watch tv. I am serious there is a tv in front of the tub, it's like they made a room just for me. Now if that tv showed nothing but Law and Order and Keith Olberman you'd never see me again. I am sure room service would bring some apple butter.

Mindful

2008-10-19T18:56:00.002-06:00

I know that it is ridiculous that I am still doing California posts weeks after we are back but i finally today felt like we had finally started to catch up from being gone. It is fabulous here with great Midwest colors and perfect weather, so i am finding it hard to come inside and do anything except make great food. I actually baked a cake today which is something I never do.

Anyway, one of the few things I really wanted to do while we were in San Francisco was to visit City Lights Bookstore. I know it is a total tourist trap now, however i could not resist the siren song of my Converse high-top wearing teenage years. It should not come a surprise to any of my readers that I I had a torrid love-affair with the Beat poets my senior year of high school after I was kicked out of my AP English class for telling my teacher that i found Beowulf "redundant. " To be fair, the poor woman didn't have much choice since had just I turned in the 7th Level Of Hell-The Board Game for Dante. Even though that game was fucking brilliant thanks to my incredibly talented illustrator/partner. C'est la vie, I convinced one of the young, idealistic special ed teachers to take me on for "independent study" and found Lawrence Ferlinghetti. I finished up the year by staging a sit in to protest the letting go of that special ed teacher, but that is another story for another day. Long story short humiliation and exile from AP English, totally worth it.

City Lights was a little more tame than I expected, but I picked up some European novels that I could never find in a store here and brought home the gorgeously reissued A Coney Island of The Mind, complete with a CD of the poet reading his works. I read some poems to Olivia in the bathtub tonight. Where she was trapped and had no choice but to listen. I'm hoping that it prevent her staging her own coup d'etat to get something for scintillating than Beowulf later.

Eating Crow

2008-10-17T22:40:00.002-06:00

So I have to eat a little crow after our trip to California. I have railed and railed against Chad's iPhone but I am here to tell you that without that iPhone I would have died. Died because apparently I can no longer go for eight days without checking my e-mail, seeing a weather forecast, or hearing what all the bloggers think about the Vice-Presidential debate. I don't know how and when this happened to me but it did and it is a sad state of affairs.

Beach Bums

2008-10-12T19:09:00.000-06:00

And this completes the photo portions of our trip with Chad and Olivia at the beach. Look at that hubby, GQ is calling. Here we had some close encounters with sea lions and, look, more fog! What about this weather is so great?

Imagine Me And You

2008-10-12T19:04:00.000-06:00

Olivia has added a new child to her harem of imaginary siblings, Morgan. They were two peas in a pod, but a little too much alike if you know what i mean. I feared that if I turned my back on them too long they would produce some type of mid-control device that would force us all to be their loyal subjects who would do nothing but feed them cookies all day long and look the other way when they decided it would be a good time to try and use the chandelier for the acrobatic purposes it was so obviously intended.

And We're Back

2008-10-12T18:55:00.000-06:00

I can't say that I left my heart in San Francisco, I was pretty glad to get home after an action-packed trip. However, going through the pictures we always wish we had just one more day to see just one more thing. This was the first trip that I saw this famous landmark and laughed at the fact that the only ones who were not nervous to take a walk on this behemoth were me and the kid. Never have I been anywhere that you snap a picture and what was in front of you has completely disappeared by the time you look up. I actually debated setting up a slideshow with my continuous shutter shots of the fog moving in, but laziness won out.

C-YA

2008-09-30T07:39:00.001-06:00

I am off to California because Chad and I like to travel to destinations that have the exact same weather that we are having here. Seriously, look it up, it is exactly the same. So behave yourselves and i will see you in a week.

Goodbye Old Navy Capris, I Will Miss You Least Of All

2008-09-28T18:38:00.002-06:00

Earlier this month Chad and I had a conference and decided it was time for me to clean out my closet after discovering that I still had clothes from when i was nursing Olivia, fifteen pounds and four years ago. And by conference my husband begged me to go to the store and buy something, anything that was not grey. You see, I like grey, it is slimming without being black, it goes with everything and I think it is very boho chic. It is also remarkable in covering child secretions of all natures and marker. Chad thinks it is drab and frumpy.

So this week I spent the time that Olivia was in classes shopping. I hate shopping, don't get me wrong, i love BUYING but I hate mall parking lots, unflattering dressing room mirrors and feeling like you have to throw a full out tantrum to get a salesperson to help you. But I returned with dark denim, properly fitting undergarments and even a red a skirt. Couple this with my recent foray into eye creams you may not recognize me.

Hot Debate

2008-09-26T20:53:00.002-06:00

Earlier tonight my father-in-law and i debated whether or not it was important to watch the debate live or just watch the clips and recaps on-line. I have to say after watching it live i can't imagine doing it any other way. i love to shout at the tv like it is a sporting event, to jump up and clap for the zingers and to use the middle finger spontaneously and frequently. Though never again will i watch it on CNN with that annoying pie chart "point scoring."

For Your Amusement

2008-09-24T22:21:00.002-06:00

If you want to give yourself a good little laugh at some point over the next few days just call Chad up and say two little words-bail out. it is better to do it in person because then you get to see this little vein in his forehead pulse. Today's rant included the words fucknuts and shit for brains. I really like to get him started and then throw in words like golden parachute or today I just said, "That Sarah Palin really seems to have a handle on this." and watched him go completely apeshit crazy. Ooh I think I cracked a rib laughing. Thank goodness I am so secure in my complete ass-flat brokeness that i can laugh at impending doom.

Part 2

2008-09-24T22:20:00.000-06:00

My spice rack, the great tragedy of my life is that I am not eight feet tall so that my spice rack could go all the way to the ceiling. I have a small secret stash in the pantry. The table and cushionless bench. The bench has a half-constructed cushion and the open bench is currently housing a lot of tools so it looks a little messy. Our chairs aren't here yet but they are the darker green in the glasses above with chrome legs. Most everything else accessory wise in the kitchen is one of the two shades of green in the glass, but I am thinking of branching out for the bench cushion . . .

Stark Realism

2008-09-24T22:14:00.000-06:00

We are getting to the end of the kitchen project, well close enough to the end that i can submit tightly cropped picture that disguise other, more disastrous parts of the kitchen. Obviously we have not hit that accessories finishing part of the project, but you at least get the general idea. These shots are of the open shelving and a close up of the cork floor. I am a little skeptical about the space between the shelves, but I am going to switch some stuff around and get taller pieces on that bottom shelf first to see if it makes a difference. Love the floor, can't say enough great things about it. The counter tops were where I really had to eat crow. I hated Corian and thought it was a waste of money, but they are so low maintenance and easy to clean. I was petrified of white, but the pattern really ties in the floor and keeps every crumb from showing up.

Birthday or Bust

2008-09-22T09:40:00.003-06:00

So I am already off the wagon. We spent most of yesterday at the IKEA and putting up shelves. Does it count if you listen to the football game? However, my shelves are almost up, and it will be awesome to see what my counter tops look like when they are not covered with dishes.

The highlight of the weekend was taking my sister to the mall for her eighteenth birthday. It saddens me to think that the mall is the highlight of anything, but for my sister it was because she got to take olivia to Sephora. There, the heavens opened, the choir of angels sang and the girls did makeovers together, with my credit card of course. As my sister made my four year old look like a tranny hooker I could just hear the wheels in her head turning about how much she hated me and wished that she could live with my sister instead. Dining on nothing but mac and cheese out of a box and the occasional Hot Pocket, nothing but SpongeBob on the television which would always be on. They would do their nails all day and fall asleep under Hello Kitty blankets at night. It would be heaven.

My sisters wheels were mostly focused on how much she could milk out of me, or if I balked, my mother, proving that Olivia and Lauren exist in a magical parallel universe.

You've Got Mail

2008-09-17T23:10:00.002-06:00

I was feeling so inspired until just now when I read on Slate that someone hacked into Sarah Palin's personal e-mail and put it on the web. I am not ecstatic that someone posted her personal e-mail, what happened to her was totally illegal and wrong I think anyone would be humiliated at the thought of all the correspondence they had sent and thought no one would see.

However, I am downright giddy at the fact that we have exposed the woman who could very well be our next Vice President as a Yahoo user. If there are any readers out there using Yahoo as their primary e-mail address i mean to offend you. Stop the madness. Yahoo is the wrong phone number you write on a cocktail napkin at the bar to get rid of creepy drunk guy who is talking too close. Everyone should have a Yahoo account-that they use when you have to give an e-mail to register on a web site or to a salesperson. That's it. Yahoo is an invitation for spam, get gmail, it's free too.

Anyway, we have successfully exposed Sarah Palin, not just as a woman who apparently prays hard for lots of things, but as woman who was too lazy to sign up for AOL. Shame on you hackers. . . but maybe next time hack something worthwhile, like Michelle Obama's e-mail. Oh, i bet you would see some shit-talking in her e-mail.

Comic Con-vert

2008-09-17T13:59:00.002-06:00

So, in case you haven't noticed Watchmen is what I am reading lately and no one is more surprised than me. I have spent many years ridiculing my husband for his comic book/sci fi tendencies; when he wanted to go to the Star Trek museum in Vegas I used that opportunity to blow all my free drink tickets at the nearest bar, I have foisted him off on his guy friends for everything from Star Wars movies to the release of the Heroes on-line comic books. However, I think it was seeing Persepolis that turned things around for me. It highlighted the often overlooked and under publicized genre of female authored comics about something other than superhero machismo. Watchmen is supposed to be the anti-hero comic so I am excited to be starting it. I don't know why i have waited so long, being a visual person I often have to re-read thing that I have just read to absorb them completely, not so with the comic books.

After doing some research, I also bought Olivia a comic book from a new publishing series by Art Spiegelman's wife. She loves it. So maybe we are all comic converted.

2008-09-16T20:47:00.002-06:00

Yeah I know that i have been really boring lately. Chad and i have been trying to finish up the kitchen, but since he is back to his regular work schedule we are making really slow progress. Olivia has also been making the transition to taking no nap. This hasn't been as scary as I thought it would be, but her moods have been all over the place while we are trying to work out a new routine, so in the meantime the blog has been boring, boring, boring. I don' t even want to visit it it is so boring. Most of the blogs that I visit have been boring too.

So time to shake it up people, send me your cool links, crazy stories or funny one-liners. I haven't heard from ost of you in awhile anyway so comment to let me know you are out there, maybe it will be the just I need to get out of my blogging rut!

Touchdown

2008-09-12T14:25:00.002-06:00

Angie and Mike have a long-standing tradition that they spend Sundays at home watching sports, they go no where and rarely host anyone. It is their time to be together as a family. Chad was raised this way as well, Sunday is family time. I have always been a little envious of people who could actually take a day to rest because it is not in my nature. Chad and I always cram Sunday full of errands, shopping, chores and projects since Saturdays are usually full of Olivia's activities and our socializing. However, last Sunday, by happenstance, we stayed home and relaxed all day. We had friends for brunch, but by one they had gone on their way and we rested. Football was the only channel on, Olivia dozed off on the couch while I cooked a yummy dinner. I have to admit, I am kind of hooked. I am going to give it another try this week; it will be hard not to answer the siren call of the errands, but I am going to combat it with this. A complete set of coloring sheets of all the hand signal referees use in football. I am always willing to learn something new and hopefully this will keep Olivia from making us crazy.

Happy Birthday Baby!

2008-09-11T19:27:00.002-06:00

So Chad is the big 3-2 today, but since his birthday is not on the happiest of days we have started splitting the celebration over a few days. This year Chad managed to commandeer three days for his birthday. One dinner out, one for his favorite home cooked meal and Steph and Michele invited him over for bbq and my famous carrot cake over the weekend. I think he is even going to try and use Ariella and Eric to scam a fourth day. I will use this blog post as reminder for my birthday next year. However, Chad follows in the proud tradition of our friend Angie who declares a birthday week, which we here wholeheartedly support and enjoy!

So here is to Chad who had a terrific year where he received accolades at work, learned how to use all manner of tools at home and lost a few pounds. Here is to another great year for you, baby. I am glad you were born.

Aren't my parents cute?

2008-09-10T21:06:00.000-06:00

You would never know from this picture that they make crazy. My mother thinks the kitchen is too stark, a nice stencil border will liven it right up.

In Tandem

2008-09-10T21:04:00.000-06:00

Here is Olivia's Mallards Fan Photo of The Season winnings. As they rode it away to go vote yesterday I nearly vomited Americana.

Olivia "Hiking"

2008-09-10T21:01:00.000-06:00

I decided to take advantage of her father being gone and take Olivia for a nice afternoon in the great outdoors. The best part ended of being right here. The rest of it was bitching and moaning that we had left the lake.